Join The League of Mentalists !

What are The League Mentalists?

They are people who for years have been told they are mental, or strange only to discover they are the most sane people on the planet.
Mentalists are not to be confused with the truly insane, who shout at people in the street or who stick pencils up their nose and shout "wibble"!

What does a Non-Mentalist do that proves they are truly cuckoo?

1. They put over the top festive lights and Christmas decorations up in the middle of November and believe this is normal behaviour.

2. They park outside your house blocking your car in, and when questioned say they have been parking there for years and that is their space.
Even if they just moved in.
They will often leave notes under visitors windscreens, or knock on your door to tell them that it is their space they are parked in.
They often give you odd looks because you decide to park outside your own house. Or will deliberatly park behind your drive so you can not exit.

3. When using the internet to chat, they will often not chat, but instead send you private messages asking you your chest size.

4. They will often criticise the way you live your life and tell you to get out more.
When in fact,they spend most of their time on the "Feesch pages of ICQ" in an attempt to pull anything that moves.
They are quite happy to call you a sad old slapper when in truth it is they that are being banged more times than a shed door in a hurricane, and have several relationships on the go - claiming they are & "playing the field".
Or spend so much time worrying about "Posh & Becks" or "Coronation Street", that they have no idea what is going on around them.

5. They are the first person to point at some who likes Heavy Rock, as well as Bing Crosby or Dean Martin and classical music.

6. The Non-Mentalist is often the first person who decides to have a new driveway just because the person next door has got one, and not because they need a new drive way. They will also get a satellite dish, double glazing and a porch for the same reasons, and even though you may already have one of these items they are the first to gossip behind your back about how inferior yours are.

7. The Non-Mentalist will often take his car out of the garage in order to wash it even though to everyone else it looks spotless.
Then rather than use the car will then just put it back in the garage. Or even worse - will use the car to go to the shops and spend hours cleaning and polishing it when they return.

8. In times of stress the Mentalist will loose his or her temper and have a good rant and rave, and then go about daily life, no matter where they are or what they are doing; The Non-Mentalist will just simply stand there give disapproving looks or in the worst case they will tell you, you are abnormal or will tell someone else that you are abnormal just because you have lost your temper in public.

9. The Non-Mentalist child will often perform acts of destruction and then rather than run off or hide they will just stand there staring at what they have done. Claiming in a dead pan, emotionless voice that it was for "a bit of a laugh"

10. The Non-Mentalist will often pop out to wash the car or mow the lawn 10 minutes after you have decided to it, just so they can have a good nose to see what it is you are up to.

They have also been known to hide behind net curtains, thinking that you can not see them, rather than actually stand visibly and make it clear what they are doing.

Please Join the League of Mentalists today
and help us prove that there are actually some sane people out there !

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